Grief & Loss
Healing from grief is a process.
Grief is like the ocean;
it comes on waves ebbing and flowing.
Sometimes, the water is calm, and sometimes, it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.
– Vicki Harrison
Feeling overwhelmed and empty are the foundations of life as you try to live day-to-day after a loss. Memories flood the mind when at work or with friends. Tears arrive unannounced, and you apologize even though there is nothing to apologize for.
Anger and bargaining with yourself is part of the process.
Unfortunately, attempts to explain how you feel don’t soothe the pain. Friends and family mean well, but they just don’t get it.
Living after loss is trying to walk on the ever-shifting ground. There is an expectation of stability, but reality is anything but stable. Constant adjustments to waves of emotion result in feelings of disconnection and exhaustion at the end of every day.
The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you’ll learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.
– Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Then comes acceptance.
Grief over loss will exist forever in reality. It does not shrink. Growth happens around the grief, incrementally making the grief seem smaller compared to the rest of life. Acceptance gradually sets in. Anger gradually wanes.
A new perspective develops – the realization that grief reflects love. The emotional experience of love feels better than the emotional experience of grief.
With this new perspective, gratitude for what was and is becomes easier. Relationships feel different.
This process begins today.
Together, we will determine how you’d rather feel about your loss. We will relive good memories and reprocess how the pain feels to you. Over time, memories provide a welcome embrace rather than an unexpected stab.
Contact me to begin your grief healing journey today.